Fortunately for us within this femininity movement, there are a wide variety of people and groups to choose from. Unfortunately, I have come across femininity frauds whose names I have decided not to mention even though I am actually itching to warn you. I am a person who has a history of “church hurt” where the people you believe in the most let you down the hardest with their hypocrisy. Oftentimes this happens in faith-based and community spaces. For me, it was in church. Knowing that pain awakens the social justice warrior in me, hoping to shield others from what hit me.
Instead of naming names, let’s discuss what we should be looking for in a femininity membership. A list of three qualities. Should anyone of them be missing, run for the hills! Keeping this list short allows these attributes to be easily memorized. Keeping this list universal helps us to avoid the alienation of unique groups out there. Some femininity groups are for wives, mistresses, teens, spinsters, etc. All of that is fine so long as the theme is consistent with femininity.
The Messenger Matches the Message
If the messenger is inconsistent with the message, this is not the group for you or anyone else, except for hypocrites that reflect their imposter of a leader. You should be able to see this person’s message working in their own life without having to bend their fingers backward to prove it to you. Are you going to teach me how to nab a sugar daddy? Ok, where’s yours? Can’t show him due to privacy reasons? Ok, show me evidence of his presence in your life and how he changed your life for the better.
Become the Whitney Houston meme that says, “ I want to see the receipts.” Your success depends on your ability to vet the influencers in your life. The most effective leaders are those who have been to hell and back. The more a leader has been through the more they qualify to reach diverse groups of people. The leader is one of her top success stories in and of herself. Many times it is the person who did everything wrong that can show you everything right. Suffering the consequences of a checkered past adds power to the resume of some leaders, while with others, it proves they are fraudulent scammers. It is up to you to gauge the difference.
Testimonials of Success
There should be women in your femininity group all but fawning over their leader(s). I know this comes across as personality worship but hear me out. We fawn over the people who change our lives. Like your big sister who protected you or your favorite teacher that wouldn’t give up on you, these people inspire loyalty from their followers because of the tangible changes such leaders have made in their lives. Read into the authenticity of testimonials.
A testimonial could be a $50 super chat on youtube of someone saying “ Thank you for all you taught me, I dodged a bullet because of you.” No one is going to pay $50 to super chat you unless chatting with you, has been super for them. People like SheraSeven1 on youtube as well as The Pink Pill have people filling their comments section with super chats and super stickers. Using these to express gratitude and praise. The person may not have a bar graph or pie chart to prove a success rate, but the more you hang around, the more women will be outspoken with their success stories. Be on the lookout for the happiness and satisfaction of members with their leader.
A Social Tone of Sisterhood
Sacred social tones in groups like these are a must. These should not be mean-girl groups that make fun of one another. Mocking another woman’s progress or lack thereof can be traumatic and set that person back. Social courtesies should be ready on deck. The members will often behave like the leader even if that is not their usual personality. The leader sets the tone for the group. A femininity group should be friendly and welcoming to like-minded people.
Notice I specified like-minded individuals. Swarming like a beehive (ahem, bey-hive) against your haters and opposers is to be expected as well. Members of a group protect one another. You should fit into the air of camaraderie in 3 days or less. If you are being iced out, leave. Femininity groups by the very nature of femininity should be warm and welcoming with a go with the flow type of energy. Leaders and veterans in the group should be able to amicably put out fires between others. They should behave as social custodians of the space cleaning up any messy misunderstandings if they should arise.