We ask ourselves this question every time we experience heartbreak or emotional pain: how do I let go of past hurts and move on? It is possible to hold on to the past consciously, just as it is possible to let go and move forward consciously. Making the decision to take control of the situation is essential to letting go of past hurts. Practice and time are required to accomplish this. Praise yourself for your small victories and refocus your view on the situation as you practice.

Letting Go of the Past: Tips for Success

Pain is a common experience shared by all humans. We have all been hurt, whether physically or emotionally. The way we handle that pain, however, separates us. Researchers discovered that when emotional pain makes it difficult to move on from a situation, this indicates our lack of growth-oriented thinking. Using lessons learned from hurts to focus on growth and forward progress is one of the most effective ways to heal. It is easy to become trapped in the feelings and memories of what “should have been.”

These 10 tips will help you move forward after a painful experience.


1. Develop a mantra that will counteract the painful thoughts You might be having.

You can either move forward or stay stuck due to the way you talk to yourself. In times of emotional pain, having a mantra that you tell yourself often can help you reset your thoughts.

2. Establish Physical Distance

It’s not uncommon to hear someone tell you to distance yourself from the person or situation that upsets you. Out of sight out of mind is a popular phrase for a reason, in many cases, it is effective to remove the thing or being from your physical space. Also, feel free to block and hide people from your social media accounts. Protect your peace and your space.

3. Bring to Mind What You Are Grateful for

It is important to focus on yourself. It’s up to you whether you address the hurt you’ve experienced. Bring yourself back to the present whenever you think about someone who caused you pain. Next, take a moment to be grateful for something. Gratitude changes your attitude.

4. Understand the Importance of Mindfulness

The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, the less we will be affected by what came before. Being present releases you from the grips of the past because they two cannot dwell at the forefront of your mind together. One will give way to the other, choose the present.

5. Practice Kindness Towards Yourself.

In case your first response to a painful situation is to blame yourself, you need to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Treat yourself the way you would treat your mother, your child, or someone else you love unconditionally. Give yourself all of the mercy and grace you would offer to a good person outside of yourself. You are more deserving of your own kindness than anyone else.

6. You Have The Right to Feel Your Negative Emotions

Fearing negative emotions may cause you to avoid them, but you’re certainly not alone. Do not shy away from being present in the emotions of grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Confront them head-on and fully to get past them fully.

7. Try Not to Expect an Apology From the Person Who Hurt You.

Holding out for an apology from the party that hurt you will slow the process of letting go. If you’re feeling hurt or sad, it’s imperative that you take care of your own healing, so you may have to accept that the person who hurt you won’t apologize. Learn to give yourself closure instead of seeking for others to give it to you. Sometimes, disrespect is all the closure you need.

8. Take Care of Yourself

Pain often feels like the only thing there is. Setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs are some ways to practice self-care. Practicing self-soothing, proper hygiene, and mindfulness are examples of self-care.

9. Become More Exclusive With the Company You Keep

This simple yet powerful tip can help carry you through a lot of hurt. Not everyone is qualified to sit at the table that is your life. In reality, it is a gift to allow someone a peek at your more vulnerable side. Be picky with who you surround yourself with. Especially if you know that you are a person that struggles to get over offenses. Make decent manners a requirement for your inner circle. The mean girl is the cool girl, unit she’s mean to you. Don’t give her a chance.

10. Seek Professional Help

Do not underestimate counseling and therapy. You really should consider talking about it even if it is with a total stranger who is paid to listen. Talking through our feelings helps us navigate them better. Speaking to a professional is always a good idea. Mental health is hard to maintain on our own, but the right outer feedback is of paramount importance. Consider seeing a trained professional to work through pain and trauma in your life.